The Emotional Needs of Men
Men have many feelings, but are rarely talked about
Seek to Understand
For some reason, men usually have a hard time opening up about their feelings and emotions, it’s like herding cats
From a man’s perspective, they need to have it all together, no matter what. So they tend to detach themselves from their feelings so that they CAN keep it all together
Understanding the emotional needs of a man should be an important factor of your relationship, but every man is different and each of them could make a list as to what kind of emotional support they seek from their partner in order to be more comfortable opening up about how they’re feeling
Here are a few things that would probably be at the top of most men’s list, it was tough narrowing them down, but here we go!
Encouragement
Okay don’t come for me, But some men have fragile egos! Behind the big macho man may not lie the confident man he may appear to be, he may not be confident in his appearance, education level, intelligence, personality, sense of humor, sense of style, spiritual walk, sexual health or a variety of other things
A man being transparent is hard to come by – possibly because of the standard he holds himself to; but the truth is men have MANY feelings
Men LIVE to make their women proud. Whether they admit it or not, but the important thing to remember here is that he needs to hear that he’s doing an amazing job from YOUR mouth
So many things can get left unsaid, but what is not said, is not known
He can’t read your mind, and this is a deep rooted need of his that he will rarely express to you
In relation to that topic, men are also looking for that safe place to land where he no longer needs to be superman and he can be assured that he is loved, accepted and encouraged even in the midst of his own insecurities
Support
If your man is a leader, it’s super important to give him your input, opinions and support. He won’t be threatened by any of these because he desires to improve himself as a leader, therefore, if he is secure and self-aware, he desires for those closest to him to challenge him so that he can become an even greater leader
The key here is to balance criticism and praise, when you are consistent and genuine with praise you earn the right to correct them when they are wrong
Most men do not want to fight with their woman or put up with an abrasive, combative, confrontational tone of voice
They desire to be challenged in a respectful manner
Initiating Intimacy
Whether that means initiating date night or holding hands, men need to be needed in an affectionate manner. Most men also love and appreciate affection in more ways than just physical
Using your words to tell him how amazing he is, how much you appreciate him and love him, will work wonders for him and your relationship
Most men have emotional needs that require a little more elbow grease and effort on our part, perhaps he isn’t even aware of what those needs are. Don’t neglect the fact that your husband has emotional needs, just like you
Ask meaningful questions, compliment who he is, admire him, trust him with your heart and ultimately be his best friend. I can almost promise you that this will speak to his heart in the most incredible ways
Taking control of your relationship just means meeting the needs of your spouse, after that, everything will fall into place!
Give Him Space
Connection is important, but so is space.
Men need time to themselves, to wind-down at the end of the day, to plan and strategize for their business pursuits and other goals they might be setting for themselves and families
Space within the relationship gives you both the freedom and opportunity to do your own thing when you want too, they feel supported but also know they can make their own decisions
This space can mean letting him hang out with the fellas, his favorite hobbies or just time to recharge after a long day
If arguments arise, getting physical and emotional space can help you work through these thoughts in a healthy way and avoid taking things out on your partner
Seek Help to Understand
Not everyone will be able to understand the emotional needs of men and that’s OKAY, why? Simply because all men are different, they require different types of affection, affirmations and intimacy.
While you might prioritize certain things, such as attention and connectedness, your partner might place more emphasis on privacy and independence.
With that being said, sometimes you just cannot fulfill every need, but you can work on bettering yourself in each area of your partners needs, one step at a time
Remember, the way you love is the way you want to receive love.
At Golden West Counseling, our goal is to help couples identify and understand their underlying causes of conflict and to build new ways of effective communication
