What is anxiety and how to overcome it? – is something so many of us are searching for—especially when you’re holding it all together on the outside but feel like you’re unraveling on the inside. In this blog, we’ll walk through what anxiety is, how to recognize it in your everyday life, and most importantly, tools that can help you go from anxious to grounded.
You didn’t notice it at first.
The tight jaw in the mornings.
The racing thoughts when things were finally quiet.
The way you kept checking your phone just to distract yourself.
You thought it was just stress, just a season.
But then you started canceling plans.
You were more snappy, more tired, and less like yourself.
That tension in your chest? That sinking feeling in your stomach?
It stuck around.
Anxiety doesn’t always show up like a panic attack. Sometimes, it shows up as perfectionism. People-pleasing. A constant feeling that you’re falling behind, even when everything looks fine.
Let’s break this down—and walk you toward calm.
1. Anxiety Isn’t “Just in Your Head”—It’s in Your Body Too
Anxiety isn’t just something you think about. It’s something you feel—in your chest, your jaw, your gut, your breath. That pounding heart? That tight throat? That’s not random. That’s your nervous system doing what it’s designed to do: protect you.
But when your body keeps reacting like life is an emergency, even when it’s not, it becomes exhausting.
Try this grounding method to bring your body back to the present moment:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste or tell yourself
It only takes a minute—and it starts to remind your body: you’re here, and you’re safe.
2. Anxiety Feeds on Avoidance and Overthinking
The more you try to stop anxious thoughts, the louder they get. Your brain is just trying to protect you with all those “what ifs.” But instead of helping, it ends up overwhelming.
Trying to control your thoughts is like yelling at a smoke alarm—it won’t put out the fire.
Instead, try Thought Labeling:
Say to yourself: “I’m having the thought that…”
Such as, “I’m having the thought that I’ll mess this up.”
That simple shift reminds you that you are not your thoughts. They’re just mental weather—and they’ll pass.
You are not your thoughts.
3. Your Nervous System Needs a Reset, Not More Willpower
You don’t need to “try harder” to calm down. That never works. Why? Because anxiety isn’t a motivation problem. It’s a nervous system issue.
Your body needs signals that it’s safe. Not pressure. Not perfection.
Try these quick nervous system resets:
- Splash cold water on your face
- Hum or sing out loud
- Shake your arms for 30 seconds
- Breathe with one hand on your chest, one on your belly, for 3 minutes
Small shifts like these can interrupt the stress response and tell your body: “It’s okay to relax now.”
4. Know Your Anxiety Triggers and Default Patterns
Everyone has their own version of anxiety. Some of us over function. Some of us shut down. Some keep scrolling. Some go quiet.
The better you know your pattern, the easier it is to change it.
Use this prompt to explore your anxiety style:
- When I feel anxious, I usually…
- I try to avoid feeling anxious by…
- I tend to blame myself for…
- What I actually need in those moments is…
There’s no right or wrong—just awareness. And awareness creates options.
5. Calm Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait
You’re not born calm. You build it—one choice at a time. It’s not about feeling Zen all the time. It’s about returning to yourself, over and over, even when your mind is racing.
You don’t need a two-hour routine or a meditation app. You just need one small moment each day to remind your body what calm feels like.
Create your own “Calm Cue”:
- Take 3 deep breaths before opening your inbox
- Place a hand on your heart before a tough conversation
- Stretch for one minute between meetings
Even a candle lit next to your journal can signal it’s time to slow down.
Repetition matters. These moments are how calm gets wired in.
Final Thoughts
Understanding anxiety and how to overcome it isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finally understanding what your anxiety is trying to tell you—and learning how to respond in a way that brings more peace, not more pressure.
You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just have to begin.
One breath. One choice. One calm cue at a time.
If you’re ready for more support, tools, or guidance—you don’t have to figure this out alone. Therapy can help. And you’re always welcome at Golden West Counseling.
