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Couples Therapy
Possible reasons for relationship therapy
- Not feeling supported
- Feeling one partner is distracted by social media, friends, or the TV
- Communication issues
- Affair / infidelity / cheating
- Sexual problems
- Life changing event
- Life changing Addiction
- Life stage - One may feel they have out grown the relationship while the other feels that the other has significantly changed
- Boredom
- Jealousy
- Blending families
- Money
Finding stress in your relationship is common and workable.
There are times in all relationships when it does not run as smoothly as we like. There tends to be a conflict in expectations, distractions by other issues, or difficulty telling your partner what really is on in your mind, and would be heard and understood. Maybe you have lost the passion which brought you together. Unhappy relationships can have a way of impacting every area of your life.
Stress impacts relationships. Research shows that relationships tend to fare worse when the couple is under stress. When one partner is stressed this partner may not fully express their need for support, thus feeling isolated or ignored. If both partners are enduring high levels of stress then there may be less connection and less communication.
The way you give love is usually the way you want to receive love. However, your love language may not be the same as your partner’s language. Let’s say you express your love by cooking a meal for your partner or washing your partner’s car, however your partner expresses their love by spending quality time together. It is possible that your love language is not connecting.
The disconnection you are experiencing can have a positive change. Many couples wait to begin couples counseling until the hurt and pain has lasted so long that they are about to break up or have already separated. In working together I will guide you through building connection and giving you a sense of hope.
My aim in couples counseling is to help the couples identify and understand their underlying causes of conflict and to build new ways of effective communication. This involves us understanding the cycle that that causes you to stay in conflict and disconnection. This cycle is what I call the enemy, and it is what leaves both individuals in the same stressful place.
Concerns about relationship counseling
We have been to relationship therapy before, and it did not work. Going to couples therapy the first time is tough, and thinking about returning is even tougher, especially if you feel that it was not helpful. I understand the hesitancy and even the possibility of being a little pessimistic. In many cases, couples go to session after session rehashing their frustrations with little time spent getting to the root of the issue. Choosing a skilled relationship counselor can make a large difference in finding relationship tips and interventions that create connection within the couple.
I want to go to couples counseling, but my partner does not. This is a very common concern. In some cases the reluctant partner may worry that their partner and therapist will gang up on them, or maybe the reluctant partner is not comfortable talking about their feelings. There could be a lot of concerning thoughts rolling in the reluctant partner’s mind. They may feel that going to counseling feels like failure, they may worry about being vulnerable, or not wanting to release control. We can not force anyone into therapy. If you have a partner that is reluctant, try to empathize with their reasons for being hesitant.
How relationship therapy can help
Through relationship therapy we can find the “we’ness” again. We can discover ways where you and your partner can talk quietly about sensitive issues, share each other’s concerns, listen to understand each other’s perspective, and create a plan of action that feels beneficial to each partner. With patience, learning and practicing skills my hope is that you will rekindle and strengthen your relationship. My goal is for your couple to find solutions that will bring affection and joy to your relationship.
Premarital Counseling
Premarital Counseling is an opportunity to explore the various dynamics of your relationship. Couples are able to build a strong, healthy foundation, giving their relationship a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. Premarital counseling can help to identify area of growth within the relationship. These areas of growth (or weaknesses as some may call it) could potentially become problems later on during the marriage. Having relationship tips and tools before these issues arise, can guide you through those tough moments with ease and togetherness.
